TIMESTACK
The Robert Paradox
BTTZZZ! BTTTTZ!
Come in, come in! Are you reading this?
’m sending this message from the future! It is of the utmost importance that you spread this message to as many people as possible. Tell your world leaders, your top scientists, you must listen!
I come from the year 3045! The future is bleak, it’s got evil robot overlords, climate disaster, weekly alien invasions, you name it. It sucks. But that’s why I'm messaging you! You can save us all if you do one thing. Listen, because it’s very important, the future depends on it! All you have to do is start using the name ‘Robert’ as a profanity. Make it so that ‘Robert’ means something really gross and offensive. Make it so that the word ‘Robert’ is just so, so gross that people puke when they hear it–
BTTTTTZZZ!
Hey, Fred, why are you using the time-messenger? I told you not to touch that!
BTTTZ!
Oh, hey Rob. Uh, just testing to see if it works…
BTTTTZ!
Are you using it to try to turn my name into a profanity again? How many times have I told you, that won’t work. If ‘Robert’ is a profanity by our time, my parents wouldn't have named me that. Just think about it for one second.
BTTTZ!
Oh yeah…that make sense. I think. this time messaging stuff always confuses me.
BTTTZ!
Well, stop playing with it. Even a small message could have huge effects on the future.
BTTTTZ!
Don’t worry, I'm just sending my message on something called “Toonstack” a barely-read newsletter that lasted three years and ended when all the creators died horrifically in weird cartoon-related accident
BTTTTZ!
Is it actually called ‘Toonstack?’ hahaha that must have meant something different back then.
BTTTZ!
Hahaha I know, imagine saying the word ‘Toonstack’ in public in our time! You would be thrown in cyber-prison!
BTTZZZ!
Hahahah stupid past peoples
BTTTZZZ!
Hahaha. Hey, want to grab a space beer?
BTTTZ!
Yeah!
Signing off….
Hilary Campbell
Ok this isn’t QUITE time travel but I do believe this is how panic attacks will happen in the future. Also yes I used the cover of Vertigo as inspiration, which is another movie I would say is not time travel but will totally make you feel like you have time traveled.
Asher Perlman
If I could go back in time, I would draw a cartoon about time travel so I would have one ready for this ToonStack. As it stands, though, I have no choice but to retcon this toon about impatience.
Kendra Allenby
Here’s an uplifting knee-slapper. It was commissioned for the book launch of The Good Ancestor. The original line replaced the word “carbon” with “debt,” but you can’t really dump debt off in garbage bags. Unlike carbon and nuclear waste, which you can absolutely dump off in garbage bags. I have another, funnier, time travel cartoon but I’d have to travel to a future where I already sold it somewhere before I’d post it in this stack.
Sofia Warren
Hear me out. I know this isn’t time travel. It’s sort of the opposite of time travel, because fortune tellers’ livelihoods rely entirely on the premise that they have exclusive access to the future. But in a world with time travel… what would a down-and-out fortune teller do with her days, I ask you? That’s right: happily stream movies in her crystal ball. Now this cartoon is looking like the perfect fit for this theme, isn’t it?? Everyone who doubted me owes me an apology, which you can leave me in the comments.
Jason Adam Katzenstein
Mine is less time travel than Sofia’s but it does have the word time in it, so in this way I am winning. In the war. Between my cartoon and Sofia’s. Concerning whose is closer to the topic.
Do you know what the secret to great comedTIMING.
And dear future Jason, TK here a third thing that’s also a joke to say. This will be a problem for future me.
Jason Chatfield
In keeping with our theme of cartoons that have nothing to do with time travel, here is a cartoon about dogs having 7 birthdays in one year.
You’re welcome.
Shelby Lorman
Ok, so this isn’t really about time travel either, but it sort of is? Just going backwards?
Navied Mahdavian
In college, I took a class on the philosophy of space and time. We read an article on time travel by David Lewis, who argued that it is logically consistent, but physically impossible. The details are pretty fuzzy, but I’m pretty sure he mentioned a giant cork. Anyway, this cartoon is approved by David Lewis.
Tom Chitty
E.T. was a highly intelligent life form. He and his friends could travel through space at the speed of light. Are we really supposed to believe that they didn't invent a telephone?
Maybe the problem wasn't a lack of phones, but rather a lack of pockets to put them in (what with always being in the nude).
You can sign up to my substack here, if you like.
David Ostow
I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. (Written with Dan Salomon)
Ellis Rosen
I’m so happy everyone on this toonstack posted their time travel toons and not a bunch of unrelated stuff, like dogs celebrating New Years, or turtles in therapy or netflix or whatever. Now if you'll excuse me, I’m going to take my time machine to the past and look around. Don’t worry, I wont touch anything, I know that changing the past could cause a temporal butterfly effect that could change the present in unknown ways! Why, if I so much as step on an insect, I might come back to see that the toonstackers have posted a BUNCH OF GODDAMN NONSENSE. But I’m sure that won’t happen! Later!
ToonStack NewsStack
Hilary’s guided journal, What Did I Do Today? , just came out!
Amy Kurzweil teaches cartoon classes on Patreon! Sign up now to get the recording of every past class!
Sofia Warren’s Radical: My Year with a Socialist Senator is out and available to order here. (And it was just named one of the best graphic novels of 2022 by Forbes!)
Pre-order Ellis Rosen’s new book, Dink!: Pickleball Facts, Fictions, and Cartoons
Be sure to check out Shelby Lorman’s newsletter, Please Clap!
The same goes for Sofia Warren’s advice newsletter, You’re Doing Great!
See more cartoons from Ellis Rosen’s weekly Junk Drawer!
Asher's dot eyes always kill me. dead. I'm dead.
The thyme machine was my fave.