Summer Lovin'

FINALLY- we got a heatwave. I (Johnny DiNapoli) was worried that pleasant spring weather would never end. 

Ready or not, it’s summer! Every year, I expect it to be a blissful three-month vacation with nothing but ice cream and baseball. Yet every year, I find my summers full of mosquitoes, NYC-air-conditioner-juice-drip in my eye, and baseball (which can be kinda boring sometimes!)

It’s these high highs and low (sweaty) lows that make summer one of the top four seasons for drawing cartoons. So kick back, grab yourself a slushy and fly swatter, and enjoy the Toonstack team’s hot summer takes.

Ellis Rosen

I hate the beach. I don’t understand what people like about it. Here are things that are on the beach: 

1. Sand. I take one little step into the sand and it’s all over me and everything I own for the rest of my life 

2. Sun. It’s literally burning my skin and making me thirsty which brings me to 

3. Water. Gotcha! Not the drinking kind! The salty-ouch-it-hurts-my-eyes kind!

This has been my very funny bit about the beach. Listen to it in my new stand up comedy special, “Ellis Rosen: You Got Ha-ha’s in my Yuk Yuks!”

Sofia Warren

Boy, Ellis is sure grouchy about the beach. That makes him look pretty bad, right? Grumpy old man who hates fun much, Ellis?

Ok, so maybe I also don’t really like the beach. Maybe I think it’s boring and hot. Also, maybe a teen called me “Grampa” earlier this week because I was moving at a normal speed in the bike lane with my helmet on. Ellis, do you want to hang out in the shade sometime and lament about kids these days?

Natalie Dupille

H.A.G.S.: the dreaded yearbook acronym that means no one really likes you but no one really wants to tell you. I could never bring myself to write it in anyone else’s yearbooks, though I surely had no shortage of them in my own. And now, even though I’m sure you are all amazing people and I probably would like you very much, I wish to tell you to have a good summer, because truly, what else could be said after this year? So, HAGS, everyone. And I MEAN IT, okay?!

Yasin Osman

In some ways this is autobiographical since Toronto is considered to have the longest continuous Covid lockdown of any major city in the world. But Yasin, what does this have to do with summer? You can still go to the park, play sports, etc… NO.  You can’t. Not here. Covid numbers have been crazy so there’s a law in place preventing people from leaving their homes for non-essential reasons. But these measures are helping numbers go down, so I’m super thankful. One thing I’m looking forward to is having Ethiopian food,  and Ice Cream, in that order. Oh, and a quick shoutout to all the infants reading this, especially the Canadian ones.

Kendra Allenby

I closed my computer for the summer to hike the Continental Divide Trail. But, then again, I’m typing this from my phone so joke’s on me - I’m the dude at the desk. This summer I’m most afraid of lightning and grizzly bears, and most excited for any and all food. Particularly ice cream, burgers, salads, pizza, fruit, ribs and all other town food but, after a tough day, I can muster a surprising enthusiasm for cold rehydrated mashed potatoes.

Navied Mahdavian

It’s summertime, which can only mean one thing: death by coconut. According to the CDC (Coconut Defense Corps), every year more people are killed by rogue coconuts (Cocos Nefarious) than sharks*. While the majority of coconut deaths are caused by falling coconuts, some notable coco-nightmares include:

1. In 1923, a Pennsylvania man was killed when he tried to crack open a coconut with the butt end of a loaded revolver. The gun discharged, killing the man. The fate of the coconut was not reported. 

2. In 1997, a man in Kyiv, Ukraine fell into a vat of coconut oil and drowned. 

3. During World War II, Japanese troops reportedly used “coconut bombs” in defending against the American invasion of Leyte. The bombs were created by placing hand grenades and picric acid inside hollowed-out coconut.  

So, the next time you decide to go to the beach, just remember: it’s not coconut, it’s coco-no!

Johnny DiNapoli

I love summer blockbusters. Good ones, bad ones, big ones, dumb ones. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a movie theater, but whenever I go back, I’ll be the guy in the front row with the tub of popcorn, telling the characters why they’re wrong and how I’d defeat the monster.

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For Your Pleasure: Cartoon Extras

• Follow Kendra Allenby as she walks the Continental Divide Trail for 5 months!

• Amy Kurzweil’s has a Patreon. Join her Creative Community and bring your mom!

• Enjoy diary comics from Hilary Campbell on Patreon!

• Be sure to check out Shelby Lorman’s newsletter, Please Clap!

• The same goes for Sofia Warren’s advice newsletter, You’re Doing Great!

• See more cartoons from Ellis Rosen’s weekly Junk Drawer!