Rejection
Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love Being Rejected
As some of our faithful readers will remember, I am a human cartoonist. And being a human cartoonist, I have experienced my fair share of rejection. I have also experienced your fair share too. You name a person, place, or thing, I’ve been rejected by it. Agents and publishers? Left on read. Publications? Forget about it. Mom—I’m still waiting to hear back from you.
Nietzsche once wrote, “Our work is rejected because we are actually interested in the truth.” Like Nietzsche, I am interested in the truth. Also like Nietzsche, I have had a mustache since I was 9. Which not coincidently is also about the time rejection in my personal life began.
This week, I’ve asked my fellow Toonstackers to share cartoons about rejection—the feeling of, being, doing, both professionally and personally—you get the picture.
Unfortunately, I received many more submissions than I could accept. I am truly sorry you were not among those selected. You are welcome to submit again.
In rejection,
Navied
Like most people our age, I have a horrible phone addiction. I try so hard to stay away from it but I usually fail. And in the past, when I was single, my god did I place every importance on text messages. They were like gifts from god. And when they didn’t come to me, they were signs of absolute murderous rejection. Never did I think “This person is just busy right now!” or “They’re literally at work and don’t have time to stare at phones like you do” or “You need to be working, too, Hilary, put your phone down.”
Like any healthy person with a terrible fear of rejection I entered a career with a very high rejection rate. It sounds wrong but let me explain. Rejection is inevitable. It’s a fact of life. You can't stop it, so what do you do? I'll tell you what you do. You rip off the bandaid. You see, most jobs you face a labored, slogging, life-spanning rejection of your self worth. It's the same with cartooning but much faster. I’ve gone through rejection so many times and so quickly that I don't even feel it anymore. I’m completely numb to all feelings of rejection! And also just feelings in general! I’m pretty much dead inside! In fact in many cases, I cut out the middleman and simply reject my own ideas before I even pitch them. How efficient is that? So if you're still suffering from what I call “the optimist’s folly,” give cartooning a try and nip that hope in the bud. You're welcome!
This cartoon is based on a true story featuring a humorous literary journal that shall remain nameless. Let’s call them The New Jokester.* The New Jokester sent out an email telling people who had submitted that they were going to get their official rejection letter soon, and to just hold tight. The New Jokester clearly was having some issues with a backlog of submissions, in addition to some money and staffing shortages, as magazines and literary journals are often having, due to the fact that people don’t read much anymore unless the words are served to them via hyperlink or doomscroll but so many talented people want to share their brilliant drawings and words with the world— it’s almost like… well it makes me think we should start our OWN publication, controlled and gate-kept by US, where we post the cartoons that the New Jokester doesn’t want! and we should make it totally free! Wait that doesn’t make sense…how would we make money? Nevermind.
*It’s really not The New Yorker —see I’m just trying to make it seem** like I’m talking about The New Yorker to distract you from the journal I’m really talking about.
** or am I?
Maybe it’s just me, but there are few things in this world as funny as a man being rejected by a woman. To see the false bravado melt from his face when she says, “we need to talk.” To hear his nervous chuckle when she says, “this isn’t working out.” Then comes the warbling voice, the desperate pleas, the trying to be cool while hives are breaking out on his neck — really, it’s all spectacular. He is the sad clown. The broken man. And when it’s a broken weatherman? Even better. May the tears fall like rain.
Rejection comes for us all, whether you’re a brown bear looking for honey or a cartoonist looking to sell cartoons. You just gotta keep putting yourself out there. Like the ancient proverb says: you never know if you don’t go, you never shine if you don’t glow.
This is what I call a “Texas Breakup Cartoon.”
Ah, rejection, my constant companion. Here’s what I have to say about rejection. It can make you better, or it can make you bitter. Better is better. That’s my first bit of advice for you today. And hey, speaking of rejection, did y’all know that a brand new volume of The Rejection Collection hits bookstores just about any minute now? Well, it’s true. Now I imagine you, being a cultured fan of cartooning and rejection, already know what The Rejection Collection is, right? It’s a series of books edited by yours truly featuring some of the worst cartoons ever made by some of the best cartoonists in the world. In these books you’ll find cartoons, not just rejected by The New Yorker, but cartoons that The New Yorker was absolutely right to reject. Not because they weren’t funny. Oh no, my friend. These cartoons are very funny. Some would even say these cartoons are too funny. Well, they’d definitely say “too something.” Too outrageous? Too politically incorrect? Too sexy? Too weird? Too many penises? I’d say yes, yes, yes, yes, and no way! Go buy yourself a copy to find out what I mean. It’s called The Best of the Rejection Collection and you can get a signed one right HERE. That’s my second bit of advice. Go get one. It’s damn fine advice. Don’t reject it.
Toonstack News and Extras
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Listen to Hilary’s brand new podcast What’d You Do This Weekend?
Pre-order Sofia Warren’s book, Radical!
Order Send Help! a desert island cartoon collection by Ellis Rosen and Jon Adams, out now!
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Be sure to check out Shelby Lorman’s newsletter, Please Clap!
The same goes for Sofia Warren’s advice newsletter, You’re Doing Great!
See more cartoons from Ellis Rosen’s weekly Junk Drawer!
Order a signed copy of Matt Diffee’s new “Rejection Collection,” featuring the cartoons of dozens of New Yorker cartoonists including Toonstackers Ellis Rosen and Navied Mahdavian!
Matt Diffee 😂😂😂😂😂
Boys this must have been hard!