PROCRASTINATION

remember to put a subtitle here

We all have TK THING WE HAVE that is TK RELATABLE. And no doubt we TK THING HERE JASON YOU NEED TO ADD STUFF TO THIS INTRO IT IS IMPORTANT AND AT THIS POINT THIS NOTE YOU’RE WRITING TO YOURSELF IS FAR EXCEEDING THE AMOUNT OF TIME IT WOULD TAKE TO JUST COME UP WITH A GOOD INTRO. In conclusion [REMEMBER TO FIND A WAY TO CONCLUDE].

Ellis Rosen

When it comes to procrastination, there's really only one joke. I'll tell you about it later.

Hilary Campbell

I remember after I drew this cartoon I was like “I’ve peaked” and then didn’t do anything for at least a week even though I had plenty of work to do. But, as with most things in life, no one thought it was as funny as I did. But really though, how do you think cave people procrastinated? Did they get writer’s block? Or was it more like writer’s rock?* BRB gonna go write down this literally genius idea.

*editor’s note: I can’t not hear this in Carrie Bradshaw’s voice

Johnny DiNapoli

But here’s the thing: crosswords are educational. You learn all kinds of stuff doing crosswords. Say you’re “procrastinating” and doing a crossword when suddenly one of the clues sparks an idea on how you can better accomplish your current task. Probably happens all the time. Never to me or anyone I know, but I’m sure that it’s a thing.

Amy Kurzweil 

I like to get really really into something I’m working on, like, half-an-hour before I should leave to go to a thing. Half-an-hour feels like a lot in drawing-time. You can turn a pencil sketch into a fully inked cartoon in twenty-five minutes, and then put on mascara while you do your hair/get dressed in five minutes. I will forever believe I can do my makeup and hair and get dressed in five minutes regardless of what reality has consistently shown to be the case. Perhaps the deeper truth is that I do not want to put on mascara and do my hair and get dressed because I don’t really want to go to the thing where there are people in real clothes with nice faces and done hair. I think I want to be at the nice thing, but I don’t want to get to the nice thing. If only there was some sort of …rabbit hole I could fall down that would clothe and coif me and then spit me out only at parties with all my friends and never at the mad-hatter tea-shindigs I’m ambivalent about.

Jeremy Nguyen

Hey Jason, hope my cartoon isn’t too late, sorry I put it off til the last second. Thanks. Love you. Sent from my iphone.

Jason Adam Katzenstein

Look, you can rinse the takeout sauce and recycle the container that evening with a tummy full of naan and tikka masala… OR you can promise yourself that you may use plum sauce with something else that you cook later this week. You’re totally gonna cook this week. And you’re totally gonna have a use for the sauce. 

Unrelatedly, cartoonists can sometimes invert a situation to discover a hidden truth about humanity. It must be the takeout sauce that is delusional, we think, when really it’s us. Not me, of course. But the rest of you. 

Navied Mahdavian

According to a new study from Harvard (a place probably not filled with people who procrastinate), people who are always late tend to be happier and live longer. Which is good news for Juliet, since she’ll live longer than Romeo, but only by, like, 5 minutes.

Carolita Johnson

These two go together, and were both conceived and drawn while I should have been doing my taxes. Needless to say, I also cleaned and shined everything in my kitchen, too.

Roz Chast

This is basically my life although I am not a middle-aged man who works at a desk:

For me, procrastination is anxiety-related. Getting out of bed = asking for trouble. 

As always…some extra treats.

• Listen to Hilary’s new podcast What’d You Do This Weekend?

• Jeremy’s book “Can I Pet Your Dog” is available for pre-order! 

• Have you checked out cartoonstock.com? Thanks to New Yorker cartoon editor emeritus, Bob Mankoff, this is the place to license and buy prints and merch of the best cartoons in the world, from The New Yorker, Wired, Airmail and...ToonStack! 

• Amy Kurzweil teaches cartoon classes on Patreon! Sign up now to get the recording of every past class, and join the next live class April 24.

• It’s Mental Health Awareness Month, so please be aware of Jason’s graphic novel Everything Is an Emergency!

• Order Send Help! a desert island cartoon collection by Ellis Rosen and Jon Adams, out now!

• Order Hilary Campbell’s Murder Book, out now! And check out her substack!

• Pre-order Sofia Warren’s book, Radical!

• Be sure to check out Shelby Lorman’s newsletter, Please Clap!

• See more cartoons from Ellis Rosen’s weekly Junk Drawer!

And hey, we always would love it if ya: