Phones, Phones, Phones
(Sung to the melody of "Bills Bills Bills")
Like many people, I have a phone problem. No, not the phone problem where you’re talking to someone, and then suddenly you can’t hear them, and you’re like “Hello, hello, hello?” and then you playfully say “Hellooooo?” in that singsongy way, ‘cause you’re a playful guy. But then you realize your phone reconnected to your goddamn bluetooth speaker all the way on the other side of the goddamn house again. Not that phone problem.
The problem I have is I spend way too much time on my phone. Which, in my defense, is not entirely my fault.
It’s my mom’s fault.
Sure, my screentime is up 34 percent this week. Which is on top of the 16 percent increase the previous week. Now, I’m no mathematician, but my mother’s 4 minute call today to make sure that rash has gone away has to be a big part of it.
This week, I’ve asked my fellow toonstackers to share cartoons about phones—devastating critiques about their impact on our sleep and mental hea…
Sorry, my mom is calling. And it’s a FaceTime.
- Navied
Sent from my iPhone.
Hilary Campbell
I have a phone addiction problem but I do not have a cat.
Ellis Rosen
The first (and only) time I ever posted this cartoon on social media, it was during the heyday of the ‘Ok Boomer’ phase. Everyone was saying ‘Ok Boomer,’ and boy did they ever say it to me when I posted this toon. Just a non-stop parade of ‘OK Boomers,’ and even after I disabled the comments, people DM’d me ‘Ok Boomer.’ Took me months to get over it. I would wake up in a pool of sweat every night after dreaming of millions of mouths, all saying ‘OK Boomer’ to me, and when I protest they respond with ‘OK Boomer.” I started to ask myself, “Am I a Boomer?” I would look in the mirror and new wrinkles would appear like magic. Hair would fall out. I found myself more and more yelling at anyone who would accuse the Beatles of being anything less than “the greatest band of all time.” I started comparing things that upset me to a misinterpreted understanding of the novel 1984. I could feel Death's cold icy presence lingering, always lingering.
Anyway, I eventually recovered. I learned my lesson: never ever make a cartoon about phones. Phones are good, only good, and should never be made fun of. Phones are basically the Beatles of technology. Hooray for phones!
Sofia Waren
I’m a proud new owner of a banana phone, and I’ve never been happier.
ToonStack NewsStack
Hilary’s guided journal, What Did I Do Today? , just came out!
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See more cartoons from Ellis Rosen’s weekly Junk Drawer!
I especially like Sofia's Sisyphus!
Terrific!😂