Kiss Me at Midnight
because love is the cure for time
Ah Time! You look away for one second, and zoom! it passes you by. You look directly at it, and you're seized by a spindly panic that steals your breath and turns you into a philosopher. This happened to me: I was fretting about the passage of time one day, unable to stop looking directly at it, when my partner Jacob, who is a real philosopher (not just a person rendered philosophical by anxiety) taught me about the B-theory of time. Unlike the A-theory of time, in which there is a present moment, the B-theory of time says there is nothing objectively special about the so-called "present." The passage of time is an illusion. These theories both contrast with the little known C-theory of time, in which we are all living in a cartoon, and time only passes when a giant hand in the sky draws the next panel.
Folks, let me get to my point: today is New Years Eve, which means the A-theorist who invented "years" tells us it's time to start worrying. But we have the cure! It's been there in our fairy tales and rom-coms since the beginning of "time." The cure for our mortal anxiety is obviously... kissing! Bing bong, says the grandfather clock... let's get it on. Happy "2024."
-Amy K.
Amy Kurzweil
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...He's a philosopher.
Lynn Hsu
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As New Year's Eve approaches, heighten the romance by stepping into the rain with your date for the evening. Recreate that iconic rom-com moment: join hands with your partner and spin around together in an open, grassy field, the world blurring into a whirl of joy and smeared mascara. Then, as you lean in for a midnight kiss, let it be tender yet thrilling, like sucking face with a wet jellyfish. And if fortune smiles upon you, a flash of fireworks or lightning might just add the right spark of electricity, 300 million volts of intensity, to the experience.
Sofia Warren
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I’m feeling sentimental! I’m full of love and well wishes! I hope all of your horny old exoskeletons are sufficiently rubbed and bumped in 2024.
Navied Mahdavian
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I lifted this line from T.S. Elliott's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock," which is about the passage of time, isolation, and the thwarting of desires (i.e. typical thoughts on New Years). But mostly, it's about comparing yourself to others and recognizing what a loser you are.
I bet everyone else's posts are funnier and better looking than mine.
Suerynn Lee
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May it all ultimately lead to a deeper understanding of poetry. With profuse apologies to Mary Oliver.
Hilary Campbell
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Every time I fall in love I am utterly shocked I’m not cast in a Disney film??? What else am I to do with all these forest animals following me around… getting awkward!
Kendra Allenby
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I drew this years ago and I am wiser now. For example, I know the people at this party are going to be pretty excited about that cheap beer come 2am. Also, it doesn’t matter what beer they brought, many of the people at this party will get GREAT midnight smooches. I know this because I made them up so I get to give them a good time if I feel like it.
Jason Chatfield
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I’m writing this from the banks of the Seine in Paris, where —unlike my home in New York— there isn’t a single Christmas tree thoughtlessly turfed onto the sidewalk. Y’know why? (I don’t have an answer. I’d really like to know what’s going on here. How do the French dispose of their trees? And why are there no bodies floating in the river? What kind of modern metropolis is this?)
Anyway, Happy New Year.
But wait, there's more!
Want to learn to toon? Take Sofia's Beginner's Comics course (six weeks by Zoom, starting 1/16)
Amy Kurzweil’s graphic memoir, Artificial: A Love Story, was named a best book of 2023 by The New Yorker, NPR and Kirkus, and it would make a great holiday gift!
Want to draw people? Kendra's online class "Figure Drawing for People Watchers" runs this February.
Cartoons by Hilary comes out every Friday!
See more cartoons by Lynn Hsu @loopyline
Navied Mahdavian’s graphic memoir, This Country: Searching for Home in (Very) Rural America is out, and it’s getting rave reviews!
Ellis Rosen’s DINK! is the perfect gift for the pickleball enthusiast in your life!
Check out Jason Katzenstein’s Patreon
Amy Kurzweil teaches cartoon classes on Patreon! Sign up now to get the recording of every past class!
Subscribe to Jason Chatfield’s weekly Substack at NewYorkCartoons.com
Fun collection.