FateStack
Beware the ides of Toonstack
Dear Readers,
Four years and two days ago a group of ragtag cartoonists got together over a bubbling cauldron and spoke the prophesy: “In four years and two days, we will remind our loyal readership that we have been serving them cartoons on a theme for four years and two days,” and upon this utterance it was written into the future — where we now find ourselves — that we will have been serving you cartoons on a theme for four years and two days! Fate! My friends! It does more than muddle our tenses, it finds us every time we fold an intention into action or rewrite history, every time we decide to kill a father and marry a mother, or kill a dictator (why is it always killing with these Greeks? Didn’t they know about mental health or diplomacy?)
Those sultry Greek Fates claim they’ll find you even — nay especially! — when you fight your destiny. “The ides of March are come” bragged Caesar to his seer Spurinna… “Nay but not gone,” she spat back… How long is an ides? I feel like the ides of March is at least two days, no? — since March has an odd number of days? That’s 48 hours. So technically Spurinna was like “OK Caesar, for 48 hours in the middle of March, you should watch out.” I’m sorry to rain on Spurinna’s parade, but I feel like it wasn’t that hard to tell that someone was coming for Caesar, who had recently declared himself “dictator for life.” Like, on the ides of basically any month it was overdetermined that something bad would happen to Caesar. So they all picked March. It’s a good, temperate month for a betrayal.
What I’m trying to say is that the only fate that matters is the one you take into your own hands! Like the hands of cartoonists who, four years and two days ago, began serving you cartoons on a theme for four years and two days… and counting.
You’re welcome,
-Amy K
Ellis Rosen
Oh, sure, when the wizened sage calls the hero to action, he's a key part of the story, but when I do it suddenly it's like "who let this guy into our novel? He's messing everything up." jerks.
Hilary Campbell
Because my boyfriend is of the male species he thinks he can predict how all movies are going to turn out. “I saw that coming” is a sentence I hear on a nightly basis!! But did you see THIS MAN coming James ??!? DID YOU!!??
P.S. We watched a French-Canadian film last week that had a fantastic plot “he did not see coming” so that’s, like, huge in the male world. Highly recommend it! It’s called Red Rooms!!
Sofia Warren
I used to read tarot cards, back in the day, so I know a thing or two about the oracular arts. I was pretty good at it, actually. . . maybe less because of my cosmic connections than because of my finely-honed con artist intuition, keeping me attuned to body language and opportunities for misdirection. For example, this: while you were reading this, I stole your wallet straight out of your pocket!
Kendra Allenby
Fate is not equal nor kind.
Jason Chatfield
I often wonder what would have happened if there had been proofreaders and fact-checkers in the old times when gods and prophets were flinging commandments and prophecies out of the clouds. I daresay we'd have less of them; or at the very least better-worded ones than “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor’s.”
Colin Tom
If I ever receive a prophecy, there's a good chance it will be from myself regarding a life and death matter.
Kyle Bravo
I’ve become a superfan of Wheel of Fortune. Does this mean I'm old? I'd love to get on the show someday, but what if I choke?
Amy Kurzweil
Beware! Pawn to C3!
Catherine Holmes
I'm a teacup half-full of tea leaves sort and hope this time traveling fortune teller will eventually offer this sweet dino some happy news...
Anjali Chandrashekar
Among the many unyielding truths of matrimony, is that to maintain the unsaid power structure in your household, you must accept your fate that your wife is always right. It is the oldest and truest prophecy of all time.
But wait, there’s more!
Speaking of calls to action, sign up for Ellis Rosen’s new(ish) newsletter! It has lots of cartoons and discussions about cartoons and the biz (Short for business.)
Amy Kurzweil’s graphic memoir, Artificial: A Love Story is also about time and the future. Amy teaches cartoon classes on Patreon! Sign up now to get the recording of every past class. The next class is March 23rd!
Get your pencils ready for Kendra Allenby's online drawing class in May: Approachable Anatomy. Details to come!
Hilary Campbell releases Cartoons by Hilary every Friday!
Jason Chatfield has a new book out this spring called You’re Not a Real Dog Owner Until… preorder it now!
Kyle Bravo has a Patreon, a Substack, and cartoon zines for sale on his Etsy.
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another fantastic group of comics. Thanks!