Hi, Ellis Rosen here. Toonstack is a place to be honest, open, and vulnerable. Which is why I’m going to tell you all about my friend's embarrassing secrets. For instance, did you know that pretty much all of us cartoonists have a fantasy of drawing a cover for The New Yorker? Cartoons are great, but a cover? A cover provides an ego trip you just can’t beat. Having a published cover could keep the fear that your career is going nowhere at bay for a good couple of months. That’s like a decade in cartoonist years.
I've never been on the cover of anything, except for Bad Covers Magazine, A little-known publication that only lasted one issue. But like so many others, I have that dream stored away in the back of mind, somewhere in between fantasies of becoming super rich and fantasies that Bad Covers Magazine will get a revival.
Anyway, for me, that dream will probably never come true. However, I did discover one little loophole: You see, a savvy cartoonist can turn a magazine cover into a cartoon and submit it as such. The world might see a funny cartoon, but deep within my heart, I’ll know it’s so much more. It’s the pretend ego trip of a lifetime. So, in that spirit, I asked some fellow cartoonists to share their fake magazine cartoons, or books or newspapers or advertisements or anything in that spirit. Enjoy!
Hilary Campbell
With all of our constant communication, texting, messaging, emailing, and slacking, comes great opportunities for misunderstandings. The subtlety of small talk is lost in a groupchat, the tone of sarcasm completely confused by the wrong emoji… it makes me yearn for a time when a joke simply didn’t land in your neighbor’s front yard and you knew immediately that they took it the wrong way and you could quickly scream, “I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!” instead of allowing everyone to sit, wonder, stare at their phone and think, “did they really just tell me I don’t look good in blue?”
Ellie Black
This one was my boyfriend’s idea (gross). I drew another version where it looked like somebody took a big bite out of the paper, and to make sure it looked realistic I actually took a big bite out of a piece of paper. He vetoed that one, though. The main reason why I chose a flyer cartoon is to bring awareness to the latest flyer-based scandal in my neighborhood, which is that SOMEBODY STOLE MY NEIGHBOR’S TORTOISE!!!!! If you are walking around Greenpoint and see somebody carrying a tiny tortoise, there is a chance that they are a THIEF and you should track down one of the “missing tortoise” flyers for more info. Let’s get Little Baby Rajko home!!!!
Navied Mahdavian
While these aren’t technically fake magazine covers, they’re not technically fake book spines either, according to IG commenters when it was first published in 2018. IG user and literary expert Hugo_Balls said, “Hey dumbass, the books are all backwards,” and @Tea_Baggins queried, “Have you ever read a book?” IG user This_Is_Not_Navieds_Mom noted, “The books are upside down. Also, what a handsome boy.”
Tom Chitty
Even though this looks like a photograph of a real magazine cover, I must confess to you that I made it all up – apart from the face. That's his real face.
Johnny DiNapoli
Honestly- declaring your titular character “great”? Presumptuous, and a little off-putting.
In high school I wrote an essay on Catherine the Great, which I titled, “Catherine the Great: How Great Was She? On A Scale Of One To Ten, Not That Great”. Couldn’t tell you anything else about Great Catherine.
David Ostow
This is one of the first cartoons I ever pitched to The New Yorker. It shares some qualities with Ellie Black’s cartoon in this week’s Toonstack and – while I’d be lying if I said I didn’t consider dropping this one in above hers in the Google doc– that kind of behavior isn’t going to get me any closer to my lifelong dream of appearing on the cover of Mesch Monthly. Believe me when I say their standards are high. Speaking of which, if anyone has the Febuary 2022 issue featuring Will Smith, let me know. Willing to trade.
The current reel-centric Instagram algorithm is wreaking havoc on my engagement and hence my self esteem. Please consider following me @daveostowdraws !
Sofia Warren
Is anyone here from Boise? If so, please weigh in on bagel quality. I never fact checked this cartoon.
Kendra Allenby
I’m going to write both of these books and make a sh@! ton of money. Then I’m going to use that money to buy guacamole every single time I feel like it.
Ellis Rosen
Well it's time to come clean. I chose this topic as very sneaky way to plug my new cartoon book, which comes out this Tuesday, April 4th. How does that relate to this topic? Because I’m going to show you the cover:
Yes, it’s a humor and cartoon book all about pickleball. Listen, if you love pickleball you're going to love this book. If you don’t love pickleball, you should hate-buy it. That’s definitely a thing. CLICK HERE TO PREORDER
If you feel cheated, here’s a an cover toon. Please buy my book.
Amy Kurzweil
Okay, listen: One reason I haven’t been participating much in ToonStack lately (nor have I been participating much in other human activities like exercise, lunch, or regular showering) is because I’ve been finishing a book, speaking of books. And speaking of covers, I was supposed to “reveal” my book cover last week, but one thing that happens when you write a book is you become very neurotic. In my case: I wanted the book-reveal-folks to change one tiny line on the cover before sharing it. By “line” I mean, literally, a line, like: a pen stroke. In any case, that triggered a two week review process.
Until then, you can PREORDER MY BOOK HERE (!!!!!). At the link, you will see my book cover without the pen stroke in question. When the cover is “revealed” on my Instagram next week, see if you can notice the single pen stroke addition. And if you’re a real sleuth, you’ll see a different version of the pen stroke in question on the version of the cover featured with Amazon and other book sellers. Seriously, if you notice these details and send me a message about it, I will know you are the truest reader of my soul and I will feel companioned in my visual psychology.
Here is my magazine cover cartoon, featuring my Bubbe, who incidentally was the star of my first book. Yes I’m linking to both my books!! Because this issue is about covers and Ellis linked to his book first!!
ToonStack NewsStack
One last time: Pre-order Ellis Rosen’s new book, Dink!: Pickleball Facts, Fictions, and Cartoons
Hilary’s guided journal, What Did I Do Today? , just came out!
Amy Kurzweil teaches cartoon classes on Patreon! Sign up now to get the recording of every past class!
Check out Jason Katzenstein’s NEW PATREON!
Be sure to check out Shelby Lorman’s newsletter, Please Clap!
The same goes for Sofia Warren’s advice newsletter, You’re Doing Great!
See more cartoons from Ellis Rosen’s weekly Junk Drawer!
ALRIGHT WE’RE DONE HERE SEND IN THE BUTTONS
Sofia I’m sorry to tell you the bagels are not better in Boise
The paper tearing one got me. I want to put that up in the mail room.