ActionStack

Cartooning With A Vengeance

Goddamnit, Toonstack! You’ve gone too far this time! Yeah, you stopped those criminals but in the process you caused unmitigated damage to the city! Mayor Ellis Rosen is on my ass! He wants you off the force!

Just listen to this:  

You blew up five city blocks, destroyed eight helicopters, thirteen city buses, seven fire hydrants, eleven skyscrapers, twelve dump trucks, fifty cars, several lawn chairs, a priceless Monet painting, a cheaper Monet that was nonetheless very nice to look at, the Empire State Building, that new burger place everyone has been going on about, and this six-story house of cards I spent all morning building!

You also blew up that condemned apartment on 36th street, but in that case, you did the city a favor.

I have no choice, Toonstack. You’re through. Off the force. I need you to hand in you badge and your gun and your wallet, phone, keys, and any spare change you might have on you.  

And your cartoons, Toonstack. Hand them over.

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Asher Perlman

I emailed this cartoon three seconds before the deadline.

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Hilary Campbell

Two facts: Titanic is an action movie and also the origins of my favorite drink.

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Jason Chatfield

I just finished watching the remake of the Patrick Swayze classic action film, "Roadhouse". The new one features Conor McGregor as the villain. The hero -a  disgraced MMA fighter- is played by Jake Gyllenhaal. He takes a job as "Head of Driving Vehicles into Buildings" at a bar in Florida. It is the most Florida movie I've ever seen in my life. I highly recommend it if you've incurred a head injury, or enjoy watching MMA fighters with 0.04% body-fat taking a knee. To the eye socket.

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Kendra Allenby

Careful of those words, they'll getcha in the end. 

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Tom Chitty

Have you ever wondered what animals would be like if they actually did something useful? Me too! What if we gave them robot parts and programmed them to perform certain actions? I would like an orangutan that could make me a grilled cheese sandwich.

If you like ideas like this you might like to follow my Drawn by Tom Substack.

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Navied Mahdavian

In elementary school, I had a "Dinosaur Club" that met once a week. Jurassic Park had just come out and I was 8, an age which, Spielberg dinosaur extravaganzas aside, is defined by what your favorite dinosaur is (the correct answer is obviously the Pachycephalosaurus). Unfortunately, the dinosaur club met in my bedroom closet, so turnout was low.

There wasn't much more action in my bedroom until college. 

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Sofia Warren

It’s not rocket science: just be prepared for all possible scenarios at all times. Life isn’t as complicated as people make it out to be. 

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Ellis Rosen

Listen, Toonstack, you got the job done. We’re all proud of you. Mayor Rosen wants to award you with the key to the city, the medal of honor, the ribbon of justice, a burger from that new place everyone is talking about and this first place trophy from my kid’s soccer team. Everyone in this city owes you a debt of gratitude. You’re back on the force. Here’s your badge, gun, phone, keys and loose change.

Now get back out there and blow up some helicopters!

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A few more things before you go, detective:

• Asher Perlman’s debut cartoon collection is available for pre-order now! 

• Hilary releases Cartoons by Hilary every Friday!

• Check out Navied Mahdavian’s critically acclaimed graphic memoir, This Country: Searching for Home in (Very) Rural America.

• Amy Kurzweil l teaches cartoon classes on Patreon! Sign up now to get the recording of every past class!

• Jason Chatfield has a new Substack about making art called Process Junkie! And Subscribe to Jason’s regular weekly Substack at NewYorkCartoons.com

• Sofia Warren's got an advice column! Read it here.