#157: Gone Phishing
gotcha!
Dear Toonstacker,
Hello! Amy K here, and I just wanted to tell you that you’re really smart, and good looking, and famous. I can’t believe we just met like this, this is so weird. Haha, I totally don’t even know how to use this app, but look, we’re both here, and we’re talking, and well, you’re as good a person as any to tell about this new thing. I’m just feeling this vibe, like I can trust you. So here it is. It’s this brand new thing that no one knows about yet, and the way it works is that it will make you rich, grant you all your heart’s desires, destroy all your enemies, and be your best friend forever. It’s like a new currency. Not a crypto-currency, it’s like a… well, Wizards are into it. You’re not into Wizards, umm, I mean really smart people with PhDs are into it. I’m telling you, this is the investment of a lifetime. And it’s super easy to just try it out. All you have to do is send me your birthday, your home address, your banking details, and a picture of your face from several different angles. Also your signature, and one strand of your hair. Haha I know it’s like so weird that they need DNA? Everything is so crazy these days.
Ok thanks!!! Love you xoxoxo
Amy Kurzweil
The truth is that I was recently contacted by someone who is a “Hugh fan of mine.” He told me my “illustrations are just amazing, each tell a story that have to be told.” He didn’t mentioned any specific work of mine that he liked but hey he did mention some physical and cognitive deficits due to past violent trauma, and all he wanted was my autograph. What a guy! What a poor sweetheart! I thought, jaunting my way to the post office...
Now I’m writing this from prison because after I lost my identity and all my money, I turned, unsuccessfully, to a life of crime. Take this as from a friend: Get off the internet, wipe your fingerprints behind you, and get into a small boat for the high seas — the only place safe from the phishers.
Lars Kenseth
I haven’t fallen for any online scams, but the last Lars did — oops, I mean, I’m the real Lars! The same one there’s always been. Nothing to see here. Go away.
Kendra Allenby
I have not fished much in my life, but I may try a bit this summer in a very River-Runs-Through-It kind of way - as in the fly fishing and great vistas way, not the getting-caught-up-in-the-seedy-underbelly kind of way, unless the seedy underbelly is actually the bottom of a delicious sandwich on seed-filled bread that I've no doubt brought with me to snack on while I stand picturesquely in waders in the bend of a majestic river. Anyway, now that we know each other, can I have your credit card number including that little 3 digit one on the back?
Jason Chatfield
I always wince when I see "locally sourced" on a menu, especially when I'm near a smelting plant in New Jersey. If anything "Sourced as far from here as possible" would be much more comforting. "I'll take the Australian Tuna Salad with a side of Uzbekistanian pinot. (Dressing on the side)”
Ellis Rosen
This is exactly why I only listen to audiobooks.
Sofia Warren
I could write a whole book about fish, I think. Do you want me to? I'd call it This Book Is Not About Fish, with a picture of a fish on the cover.
Hilary Campbell
I love to fish!!!!!! Fishing’s my favorite!!!!
But wait, there’s more!
Hilary releases
every Friday!- ’s graphic memoir, Artificial: A Love Story, was named a best book of 2023 by The New Yorker, NPR, and Kirkus!
Amy also teaches cartoon classes on Patreon! Sign up now to get the recording of every past class!
Check out Navied’s critically acclaimed graphic memoir, This Country: Searching for Home in (Very) Rural America.
- has a new Substack about making art called Process Junkie! And Subscribe to Jason’s regular weekly Substack at NewYorkCartoons.com
- 's got an advice column! Read it here.
Read more of Ellis’s comics on Junk Drawer!
So long & thanks.....